Friday, April 18th 2021
"A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving." Lao-Tzu
The senses are heightened as I walk this familiar trail to Pine City. I greet the silver cholla, the juniper, the horned toad and the ground squirrel. I greet the young Joshuas, who have grown less than one inch since my vision quest here five years ago this week. I return here to celebrate, to reflect, to center, to close the circle on another chapter of the book.
Instead of my usual high perch on the leeward side of the largest boulder in Pine City, my instinct tells me to nestle in a more secluded spot, away from gusty breezes and frequent hikers. All the campgrounds in the park are filled this Friday, so I am lucky to have come early to stake my claim from the overflowers.
Ten short yucca stand before my tent door like a friendly family of welcoming neighbors. The rounded giant boulders totally encircle, with a pinion pine, a prickly pear and a scrubby holly to guard the entrances to camp. A fallen tree provides branches on which to hang clothing and supplies, and there is plenty of shade this afternoon in which to place my tent and chair in the coarse sand. The yoga rock stands just there, waiting.
The first walk in was strong and quick, with my stuffed backcountry pack and chair. I pitched the tent, arranged a few things, then popped open the chair to sit and write. I've snacked on grazing foods all day -- hard boiled eggs, tiny tins of tuna, red raspberries, banana, tangerine, hunk of artisan sourdough, and an entire 48oz jug of Uber Greens Suja juice! This is how I like to eat! I plan to hike all day, get browned like desert varnished rock, cleanse, center, write, read, stretch and just exist with my Self. Just be... alongside the the rock, the spikey haired trees, birds and lizards.
It's wonderfully quiet here. No voices, no jet noise or rivet guns or machinery, no music, highway noise or television. Only the breeze moving through the trees in a most pleasant whisper, and the occasional powerful stroke of bird wings upon it. The ringing in my ears becomes more noticeable as a result.
I will make one more trek today, to bring in another load of cargo, namely the 4 inch trifold foam mattress - must have gear. Clothing and food can live in the car, as I'll be making the walk at least once daily to explore other areas of the park. Only the morning and evening rituals need to be done here at camp.
Wednesday was my final full-time-paid day at Fighters. I don't choose to leave aviation, as I still have the heart for it and enjoy the challenging work. I hope to return as a contractor for the Connie project, and perhaps join Pete on the Connie maintenance crew one day. I choose not to work for another employer again, for my ideas and self-respect and creative freedom is far too valuable to put in another person's hands. Instead I return to being a contractor/sole proprietor who chooses when and with whom to work, as one invited to lend skills and enthusiasm to a project based on my merit and skill, work accepted on my terms. Though I don't know where I am going, I know it is the way... I am actually relieved the job didn't work out. Now I find myself with the free time to do this centering campout, to make art, and travel to visit family.
As I reflect and feel the sentiment about the memorable times here at PoF & FR, I find gratefulness for the ways the five years here provided financial support, a new focus in learning, a sense of belonging, a sense of family, and the gift of a lover and friend with whom to forge a new kind of future. It has served its purpose. As the writing on the wall spells out inevitable changes and challenges of the future, uprooting the things that keep me hanging on to the job, I feel sure this is the time to jump from this ship to a lifeboat. I will always have other passions and loves and skills to cultivate, develop and manifest. I gratefully allow Life to unfold the path before me! With practice I now know the self-discipline, perseverance and fortitude to make dreams happen! YAY!!!
I practice trusting the flow of Life, and with that, I don't seem to frighten as easily when stability and security seem to lack. Instead I seek new spaces and inputs and fluidity and changes to support a flow of wellbeing, living this artful life. The income and sharing resources with very few expenses has been a blessing and good fun. I am quite sure I wont be craving the luxuries and comforts I've been enjoying here QUITE as much if I wasnt tied to such a labor intensive, 9-5 work week! I know myself well ( I've put much struggle and effort in to it over the years!) and I know what nourishes my heart and soul. I don't need much to be happy... but I also must not be bored...